Maybe you want to rethink how you'd like to participate with your partner to get the best out of the closeness and the intimacy and to minimize any of the downside of the risk or, you know, hurt feelings from kids that don't really know how to process your being in their parent's life." "You're talking about financial concerns. "Now you're talking about children, blended families, inheritance," Winter says. It's important to know what you want because marriage for a mature person can get a little complicated. How do I see my daily interactions with this person?.How would it look and feel in the real world?.Have I done the work to grow myself so I know what I contributed to the breakup of my last relationship? How am I better?.What do I need in a partnership to be happy and successful? How do I want to feel in this new relationship?.What kind of partner is going to make me happy?.What do I want this time around, another marriage, a committed relationship or something else entirely?.Gandhi and relationship expert Susan Winter recommend asking yourself a few key questions: For more, sign up for the newsletter and follow on Twitter. This story comes from Life Kit, NPR's family of podcasts to help make life better - covering everything from exercise to raising kids to making friends. "You need to do some work on yourself," she says. If your instinct is to just run out there and leap at the first available person you see, Bela Gandhi, a professional dating coach and founder of Smart Dating Academy, advises that you first take a little time to get yourself together. Not to mention, while you were boo'd up, the dating landscape likely changed - fewer phone calls and emails, more texts, dating apps and social media.īut, as cheesy as it sounds, love is a wonderful thing! It's just that, to get to the love, you usually have to date. Perhaps you know more than you did in your salad days, but after a divorce, death of a spouse, or the end of a long-term committed relationship, you may have more accoutrements, such as children, mortgages, eldercare and other responsibilities. Contemplating dating when you're 50, older and more "seasoned," can feel daunting, especially if you ended a longtime marriage or other relationship and never thought you'd be back out there looking for love again.
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